How To Choose Bridesmaids

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Choosing the right bridesmaids will keep wedding planning fun and drama free. From your family, childhood friends, college besties to new professional friends, narrowing down the list of girls you want to be in your wedding is hard! Here are my 5 tips on how to choose bridesmaids...

5 tips to on how to choose bridesmaids

1- Start by making a list...write down all the lovely ladies you think you want to be your bridesmaids. This is just a starting point, odds are your list is way to long. Narrow down this list by who will actually want to help and be an active participant in your wedding planning. Remember, you should be choosing bridesmaids who will reduce your stress, if you don't think someone will actually help then don't ask them.

2- Forget "obligations"...your wedding is not the time and place to feel obligated. Basically, don't ask your childhood friend who you haven't talked to in years just because you were in her wedding. 

3- Wedding etiquette...I say forget it! This is the one time I'll say it, don't let etiquette tell you how to choose bridesmaids. Just because etiquette says you should ask your future sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid, doesn't mean you have to! You can expect a little family conflict, but this is your wedding and if your future sis-to-be isn't going to make your wedding planning and wedding day any less stressful, then don't ask her.

4- Quality not quantity...when it comes to choosing bridesmaids, more is not always merrier, especially since we are talking about getting a bunch of girls together. The more bridesmaids you choose, the more likely there is to be conflict. In other words, you will need to get more girls to agree on a bridal shower date, bachelorette party theme, the bridesmaid dress etc. Also, the more you choose the more money you will end up spending. You'll be buying gifts and bouquets for each of them so if you're on a limited budget, having fewer bridesmaids is a great way to save a little cash. 

5- Their current situation...I'm a firm believer the wedding is all about you and your fiance, except when you are choosing bridesmaids. Consider each girls current situation such as, finances, lifestyle, and special events. Is your maid of honor pregnant and due the week before your wedding? If so, she can't be in your wedding! Or maybe your bestie just moved across the country to start a new job, is she really going to be able to get time off for your shower, bachelorette party and wedding (let alone afford all that traveling)? If you absolutely have to have someone as your bridesmaid, just make sure they can commit to all that you will be asking of them. 

Extra advice on how to choose bridesmaids...Have a friend who just wouldn't make a good bridesmaid? Assign her a special task like doing a reading. This way she is still a part of your wedding day, but in a smaller less stressful way. This will cut down on the drama during wedding planning and ease some of her (possible) hostility for not asking her to be your bridesmaid. 

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2 Responses

Korie
Korie

May 15, 2014

I am sooo beyond happy someone has the same thought process as me! I literally wrote a post with some of the exact same points!
Go us! Thank you for encouraging brides everywhere to not “repay the favor” and “give into the sister in law”

xo,
Korie
http://wineandpaper.com/2013/12/18/choose-your-wedding-party-wisely/

Brittany Townsley
Brittany Townsley

May 15, 2014

Great tips!! I went with one girl from each aspect of my life. My sister, my future sister in law, my high school best friend, my college best friend, and my theater (I’m an actress in Chicago) best friend. I think I did really well with my ladies but I know this can be a SUPER tricky task for some! My cousin couldn’t decide and had 9 maids! Wowzers!! HUGE wedding party!

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